Saturday, February 27, 2010

Likelihood of being eaten by Shark decreased thanks to Depression

There are more positives to an economic Depression than most think! Despite wealth consolidation, a collapse in credit, a raging return of fascism, widespread unemployment, billions hungry, etc., shark attacks are at a 5-year low.

The logic checks out: Less money means fewer people traveling to the beach for vacation. Few people at the beach means less human blood spilled at the mercy of the shark.

Let the drinking games begin! (of beer, not human blood!)

University of Florida shark researcher George Burgess reports the number of reported shark attacks worldwide dropped to a five year low last year. In 2008, 59 attacks were reported compared to 71 the year prior.

Oddly, fatalities rose in 2008. Could it be that evolution works faster than we believe? The sharks have fewer opportunities to mistakenly take a good-chunk out of an land-based anthropoid flailing about at sea. Therefore, they adapted.

Huffington Post recently reported that great white sharks are now more endangered than tigers. The question has sparked intense debate in the boardrooms of top environmental non-profits, congresses and parliaments in the most powerful capitals, banks on Wall Street and coastal warm waters everywhere: How many humans must be sacrificed in order to save the inspiration of the blockbuster Jaws, the Great White?

This writer volunteers an entire class of people, referred to by Newsweek as the globe’s Superclass. None of these 6,000 individuals returned phone calls,typically answered by servants, butlers and young, female secretaries. Ironic as it is, many of these individuals were busy meeting in secret in Australia, a nation historically rocked by shark predators.

Not only is marine wildlife exacting its toll on its human counterparts. It’s domesticated partners are as well.

Just last week one Shamu of many dragged a trainer into the tank by her ponytail and thrashed her about.

This writer believes that a sagging economy has something to do with this mystery as well. An inquiry is needed: Has Shamu’s Sea World frozen fish rations been cut down to size in the face of economic downturn?

1.Who is the Superclass? Put nicely by Newsweek:

2. Secret Summit of Top Bankers Yahoo search:

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